Big Foot was French

I know I have awkwardly small feet, and I'm on the low end of the women's shoe size scale (ok I'm at the bottom). But at least in America I register on that scale! While trying to acheter des chaussures this evening, I could not find one pair in my size. Asking the saleswomen does not help as they are appalled by my inquiry for a size 35 (or 5 in America). That's fine. They can be appalled. I'm appalled right back at how the sophisticated feet of the French women are absolutely gargantuan. No wonder their shoes have to be so amazing, it's to take away from the fact they are all descendents of Big Foot.

I am comforting myself by watching the French version of Wheel of Fortune (Vanna White is way sluttier in France) and eating half a wheel of cheese (just like Baxter...Ron Burgandy would be impressed). Oh, and I'm packing for Amsterdam!!!

Although, after my lunchtime experience, perhaps I should have refrained from the cheese. Today, I met a former Dept of Transportation employee who lives in Paris (and is Parisian I should add), and he took me out for a very nice lunch. He encouraged me to order the duck, AND he paid for it. Good conversation, great food, everything was splendid...until we got on the subject of cheese and bread. I told him, proudly of course, how I've managed to ingest a significant amount of bread and cheese every day since I've arrived. And then...

Sebastien: "You should be careful. Yes, French women can eat bread and cheese everyday. American women cannot. For some reason they get fat, while the French women do not. Although you are not very fat."
Me: "Why thank you Sebastien...I'm not very fat...that's so sweet of you to say after meeting me for the first time ever 2 hours ago."
Sebastien: "No no (backtracking), you actually seem kind of fit for an American girl."
Me: "Once again, your flattery overhwhelms me...."

Just like people born in Asia have genes that make them steretypically shorter, and people born in Canada are born with genes that help them withstand the deathly cold, the French women are born with the ability to eat bread and cheese and not gain weight. American women, on the other hand, were born with the ability to kick the ass of scrawny, well-groomed French men. ;)