Breaking into French Society

I know I've written once or twice about how hard it is to ''break into the French/Parisien society." However, I think for just over 2 months in the City of Lights (wow, it feels like so much longer!), the girls and I have been doing a fine job.



On Friday, I went to have dinner with Anne, a friend of my friend, Jesse, from back home. Anne, an early 30s, sweet, sweet, French woman, invited me to her adorable flat for dinner. I arrived at 7:30 p.m. with my American expectations: my American stomach was expecting dinner by 8 p.m., dessert by 9 p.m., and bed by 10 p.m. Then I remembered, that's not the French way. At 7:30, we sat down with an aperitif (a glass of red wine) and a few pre-dinner snacks (chips and nuts). Well, one bottle of red wine, and 2.5 hours later, Anne heated up the delicious vegetable gratin she made. It wasn't until almost midnight that we put on a pot of tea and started digging into the tarts I brought for dessert. I got home at 1 a.m., feeling a tipsy, full, and relaxed. Eating is one thing the French know how to do right - they don't rush. It's about the wine, the food, the conversation. It's an enjoyable experience that can take as long as its needs for full enjoyment. I admit, I still eat at my desk while sifting through emails during most lunch hours...but I can certainly appreciate and aspire to the French mealtime attitude.



The most interesting thing about the dinner was our conversation regarding dating and men. The French (and most other Europeans) don't understand the American dating scene. According to Anne, in France, you express your interest and go out on a few casual, non-physical dates. Once you kiss or make physical contact, you become boyfriend and girlfriend. More conservative than America, and also lacking the need to ''label'' everything. Americans can ''date'' for months, sometimes years, but nothing is official until we ''label it.'' After talking to Anne for hours about men and relationships, I think we realized neither way was superior, as no matter what country you are in, men and women have the same heart-wrenching issues.

Saturday night was another foray into French society. Antoine invited the girls and I to a ''Singstar'' party at his apartment (similar to Rockband sans everything but the microphone). We were the only Americans among about 10 Frenchies. Most of the people were really nice, and the musical selection consisted of ABBA, Queen and pop legends - you can't go wrong with a little Dancing Queen!

Although there are slight differences, I am learning more and more that underlying every cultural distinction, is a commonality among societies. Whether it's a party revolving around food, alcohol and an entertainment system, or the inevitable roller coaster of male-female relationships, most human beings crave fun, happiness, and above all, love, regardless of the language they speak.