Epilogue

When I first decided to blog, I never imagined I would be writing an epilogue. Like most of my friends and family, I was expecting the blogging to start strong and slowly die out as I became busier and lost interest. However, I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed sitting down to write these blogs. And I was even more surprised to learn that people other than my parents were reading and enjoying my blogs.

Now, that I've returned to the United States, an epilogue feels appropriate to wrap up my blog and my journey. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Alasdair and I left early Sunday morning for Italy (almost missing our flight after staying at the Piano Bar too late Saturday night...), then we traveled to Scotland and England, and finally back to Paris for one night. We were only in Paris long enough to pick up my extra baggage from Rachel, eat a final crepe, and have a quick night's sleep before our flights in the morning.

I arrived back in the U.S. feeling exhausted from four and a half months of living. That's the only word to describe it. I spent four months living each and every day to the fullest. Although the exploration of myself and Europe was hectic and exhausting, I felt more confident and at peace than ever before. Coming back, I felt like I was coming down from a high. The withdrawal was more powerful than expected, and I spent almost a week feeling depressed, avoiding phone calls and emails, and hiding away at my parent's house binging on American comfort food. It didn't help that I had acquired a nasty case of vertigo during my voyage.

I needed something to lift my spirits. I knew I would have to return to work eventually and start living my D.C./Virginia life again, but I didn't think it was possible to feel so free and alive in a place without the immense history and beauty of an old European city. In a place where people generally obsess over work, often neglecting the joys of life I deem more important - family, friends, culture, and personal happiness. The French (and the Italians) seem to understand that living without passion and love for life and all it brings, is no life at all.

Fortunately, I had an important realization while I was contemplating booking a one-way ticket back to Paris. That attitude and mentality didn't have to stay in Europe. Having the life you want is not about your geographic location. Sure, the Seine River and fresh baguettes don't hurt...but those things are not the reason I felt different in Paris. I was the reason. Moving to a foreign city, not knowing anyone, choosing to make a life for myself and make the most of it has made me a different person. I've learned to go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff. I've learned to appreciate what's really important in life. And I've learned that pleasing myself and making sure my life is going in the right direction so I enjoy every day is of utmost importance. I've adopted a new attitude on life, and that will come with me wherever life takes me.

I heard a quote the other day from British poet, William Ernest Henley: ''I am the Master of my fate, I am the Captain of my soul.''

That's how I feel. I am now in charge of my life. I am the master of my fate, and the captain of my soul. And I know whatever happens, I'll be ok.